Archive | May 2012

MIA

Been MIA for a while again. I got a positive OPK in April. I was so excited because I wasn’t expecting to ovulate that soon. It was on cycle day 17. I almost cried when I saw it was positive, just because I didn’t think the Clomid would work. So it turns out that a few days of hot flashes and being very angry is worth it. The hubs and I went on vacation to Gatlinburg for our anniversary, and we had a blast. I was hoping the entire time we were there that I was pregnant. I convinced myself that I was. We did a ton of hiking so I was exhausted, and the hubs had a slight cold so he had some cough drops that smelled like strawberries. We were coming down from Laurel Falls and I caught a whiff of his cough drop, and I got really nauseated. I told him right then and there that I just know I am pregnant. Of course it was way to early to test. After vacation when we came home I was just so busy because school started back and I only had one week between last semester and this one. I didn’t really think much about possibly being pregnant until the next week. I went in on Monday to get my blood drawn to check my progesterone. Usually it is one on cycle day 21 or 10 days after ovulation. On Tuesday May 7th. I had to work, then I had class but I had time to stop by home before going to school. I decided I would just go ahead and take a test. The test was a very faint positive. Of course my Dr’s office was already closed for the day so it was too late to get in for blood work, so it would have to wait. I started spotting a tiny little bit, but I didn’t worry too much about it yet. The next day I went back in to have a blood test for pregnancy. On Thursday they called me and told me to come back on Friday for more blood work, and they told me to pick up my prescription for Prometruim. I have clotting factors so when I get pregnant I also have to go on Lovenox, which is an injectible blood thinner that you give yourself in the abdomen once a day.Monday the nurse called me and said that my levels had doubled! I was officially pregnant for the fourth time! I had complete faith in my new Dr. I hoped everything would work out this time since I was on Metformin for PCOS, Prometrium, and Lovenox. Everything was wonderful for two whole weeks. I went to work last Tuesday, then to class just like normal. When I got to school I ran to the restroom really quick and there was some pink spotting when I wiped. I was in panic mode, but I had to stay at school because I had a test that was really important. I could hardly concentrate, but I made it through. When I got home I actually had some red bleeding. I called the Dr on Wednesday, and luckily I was off work so I was able to go on in. I was 6 weeks pregnant, so on ultrasound they should have been able to see a heartbeat. The Dr. couldn’t find anything. She told me to continue all of my meds and to come back on Thursday when the ultrasound tech was there. I went back on Thursday and she confirmed what we already knew anyway, that we had lost this baby too. They also found a fibroid on my uterus. She referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist that I go to on June 14. I really think we are done trying for a while though. It really crushed my soul because I had such high hopes this time. There are a lot of changes going on in my life right now. The hubs let me get a little kitten so I could have something to nurture. I also gave notice at my job. I have hated it for a while now, and when I was pregnant they were insensitive about it because it has already happened twice since I worked at this branch. I told them I didn’t feel comfortable lifting change, and they said it wont hurt the baby, and if a miscarriage is going to happen it will anyway. Bastards. Also my hubs got a new job, a better one, and the amount of his raise plus his bonuses is what I make working part time in a year anyway. So I quit. I am going to focus on school, and making myself happy. And having a baby eventually. We will get there one way or another. Just wishing, hoping, planning….

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