Thankful

This Thanksgiving I was reminded that I do have something to be thankful for. I went into this holiday season being extremely depressed and feeling sorry for myself. On Wednesday I got a phone call from the school I interviewed at. I got the job! I am so excited for this opportunity, and I think this will turn into a great career for me.

I had been reflecting on last year’s Thanksgiving. This year was so much different. I am so thankful for this little break from TTC. We went to my Dad’s house to visit with him for a little while before he had to go to work. My family didn’t get together for Thanksgiving because my grandparents are in Argentina. My family never really had a tradition of doing much for Thanksgiving anyway. We did some years, but mostly we went down to our condo in Florida and ate dinner at the Cracker Barrel.

After we went and saw my Dad for a bit, we went to my in-laws. I ended up having a really good time. I enjoyed visiting, and dinner was really good. We didn’t make it home until almost 3am. We could have stayed, but I had to get up early to make a pie for our next dinner. Our good friends invited us to dinner at their house on Friday.

During the five hours in the car hubs and I discussed our upcoming plans for the year. I think I have mentioned before that hubs and I never had a wedding. We have talked about renewing our vows, but hubs was resistant. He felt like if we had a wedding it would diminish our first experience. I have been telling him for a while that it would enhance it, not diminish it. I even made an Xbox analogy so he would understand. I told him it is like downloadable content. See? Xbox doesn’t always ruin my life. It can be helpful.

We decided for our anniversary that we would renew our vows and have a small wedding. I went and tried on a dress that I have been looking at for a year. It was gorgeous! I brought hubs with me because I value his opinion. He felt really awkward, since it isn’t traditional for the groom to see the bride. I kept telling him that this whole situation isn’t traditional. We are already married! He just sat there and stared at me with a blank look on his face. I at least expected his gaze to soften a little bit. I at least expected him to tell me I looked pretty or something. He did tell me in the car when we left that he really liked the dress. Tomorrow we will ask our preacher if he will do the ceremony. I will keep y’all updated on plans.

I can’t believe how fast I went from feeling really down, to feeling like I am walking on sunshine. I am starting to feel hopeful about things again. Of course now that I got a job we wont be going to Disney in January, but that’s okay. It’s an even trade. We also made the decision to TTC again after my next cycle.  We are keeping this little bit of news to ourselves for the time being. I think it will put less pressure on me. This also means that we will be leaning on each other more for support.

Clomid, bring it on! I am ready for your hot flashes, mood swings, and headaches. The hot flashes will be easier to deal with now that it is cold. This just has to work. This will work. I am inspired by the ladies in the infertility community. There have been so many miracles lately. I hope I get one soon!

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