Let the hot flashes commence. I started Clomid today. We are standing by our decision to keep this to ourselves. It is taking so much of the pressure off! We have been doing a little soul-searching lately. We have decided to stop planning our lives around having a baby. If this experience has taught us anything, it is that we don’t get to decide when to have a baby. I am going to stop keeping a room in my house empty, ready to be a nursery. I am going to put stuff in it! I might even make it into a library. We have also decided that when we purchase our new car we will be getting what we want, not basing it off of whether or not it can comfortably seat a whole family. I can’t keep my life at a stand still waiting for something that might not happen right now. If by some miracle we are able to conceive and carry to term, then we will adjust. Adoption is still an option for later. We are just going to focus on being a couple, being in love, having fun, and being as selfish with our money as we want to be.

Monday was my first day back to work. To say that this week was busy is an understatement. Of course my first week of work had to fall on a week where I had both of my evening classes instead of just the one. I had three weeks to read a book and write a four page paper on it. I didn’t like the book very much, so I was dragging my feet with getting it done. I finished the book on Sunday, then on Monday after my first day of work I spent the evening staring at a blank screen in Word. Tuesday I had class, didn’t get home until 10:30. Went straight to bed so that I would be able to get up for work on Tuesday. Wednesday evening after work I had to finish that paper since it was due Thursday. By midnight I was finished. Thursday after work I went to class. Luckily she let us out at 9:15 ish. Friday at lunch time I was barely hanging on. My period also came this week. At least I know how bad it can be at the beginning of this new phase. I know I can handle it. I can’t worry too much about if my house is spic and span, I have to maintain a balance. Hubs also said he would start helping out with the house chores since I am a working woman now.

Saturday was my friend’s 30th birthday, the one who had the preemie. Her parents, aunts and uncles, and hubs and I had a little surprise shindig for her at her house. I think she had a good time. Her mom had a migraine the night before so she didn’t really stay long, but I told her I really didn’t mind staying to help clean up. Plus I got to snuggle with the babe more since everyone had already left. Hubs helped her husband hang their Christmas lights on the house. They were so grateful for his help.

This morning was the Christmas program at church. We were running a little bit late. When we walked in there were no seats left. Just the bleachers in the back. Meh. I do think it is good that attendance was up. On the way out our pastor said that he is still planning on sitting down and talking with us about our vow renewal, he has just been extremely busy with the holiday stuff. He also just bought a house and has been moving. I don’t mind waiting until after the holidays to sit and talk about it. I still haven’t gone and bought my dress yet, but I will soon. My grandmother is trying to talk me out of it. She doesn’t want me to spend the money on it. It isn’t that much compared to some dresses I have seen. ($600) She said that she paid $300 for my aunt’s wedding dress, and it got sent to the Goodwill. I told her I am going to keep mine. She doesn’t understand that this is the one traditional thing that I want to do for my renewal ceremony that we didn’t do when we got married. I might even buy a cedar hope chest just for my dress. And put it in the empty room in my house. So there.

Well, the buzzer for the clothes in the dryer just sounded. Laundry awaits. Talk to y’all soon. ❤


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