Hope everyone had a Merry Christmas. On the way home I started to get very nervous about seeing my SIL. She is 16 weeks now and I knew she would be starting to show. I told my husband in the car that I don’t want to hear my MIL complain about being worried she will never get to see the baby since it is still a sensitive spot for me. I can’t listen to that when I know there is a possibility that we wont even be able to have one.

It actually didn’t end up being as terrible as I thought. We headed to Nashville the day before Christmas Eve. We stayed the night at the in-law’s. Christmas Eve we went to my Granny’s. I went early to help her get ready. I haven’t been able to do that the last five years because I worked at the bank and we had to work Christmas Eve. Then I always had to be back at work the day after Christmas. Not having enough time always caused  hubs and I to fight. His only family in Tennessee is his immediate family, no grandparents or aunts and uncles. My whole family is here. I grew up living down the street from my grandparents. And my parents are divorced. This creates a lot more stops to make for my side. It makes it seem unfair to him.

We had a blast on Christmas Eve! My grandpa got remote control helicopters. We had so much fun playing with them! We ate some really good food. I spent the entire day there, then we went back to my in-law’s. On Christmas Day I went over to my Aunt and Uncle’s for breakfast. I had a good time there too, but my nerves were starting to kick up again because I knew it wouldn’t be long before it was time to be back at the in-law’s where my SIL would be.

I got back to their house and they pulled up right after I did. I was hoping I could keep myself together. When we all got inside it was great! I was nervous for nothing. I wasn’t even upset at all. I even touched her bump and said hi to my little niece or nephew. I think it is a girl, but we will know for sure on Jan. 9. It was just wonderful. We headed back afterwards and went straight to bed. I slept so good!

The next day we went and saw Les Miserables. I really liked it. I had two favorite parts. When Anne Hathaway sang “I Dreamed a Dream”. SPOILER ALERT!!!!! Her spin on it was so different from the other versions I have seen. It is usually more reminiscent, and lighter. The way she sang it was so dark, and much more emotional. It brought tears to my eyes. It was really amazing. I have seen some reviews that say she can’t sing, but in my opinion, it was good. My second favorite part was when Eponine sang “On my Own”. That is my favorite song.

In other news, I noticed at work the week leading up to ovulation I was peeing a lot. I am guessing that can be a side effect of the Clomid? I got a positive OPK on CD 16. That was December 20th. This entire week I have been going crazy! I have been thinking everything is a symptom of pregnancy. I have about lost my mind! I started testing at 8 DPO. Somebody stop me! I am obsessed. I know it is too freaking early. In my previous pregnancies I have never had a positive test before 11 DPO. I thought I had a faint line yesterday, but I think it might have been an evaporation line.

Last night I had a dream that my SIL was carrying a toddler and was already pregnant again, and there we were still with no baby. This morning I told hubs that I don’t think we are this time. I know I am not out until AF arrives, which should be by Wednesday. I just have a feeling that I am not, even after all the obsessive testing. I went on Thursday and had my mid-cycle bloodwork done. I haven’t gotten the results back, but I am sure my progesterone is low.

We are still keeping all of this a secret from friends and family. I almost spilled my guts to my best friend this week, but I managed to keep my lips zipped. I was hoping that I would be able to make an announcement at our vow renewal ceremony, but since it didn’t work this time I don’t think I will be far enough along to share the news if it does happen before then. I officially bought my dress! I will try to post a picture soon. I also picked out a new ring. I am going to upgrade. I am keeping my original diamond, but I am adding more diamonds around it. I think it will end up being very pretty.

I am going to test again tomorrow at 11 DPO, even though I know it will most likely be negative. I will keep y’all  updated.


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